Guidance
by Blackcat509
Summary: For a young Jedi your training is the most important thing. It helps you become the Jedi you were meant to be, but what if your training isn't quite right. What if your Master isn't helping you. A few events lead a group of Padawans to realize that they can be people too, not just Jedi. OK not the best description but hey, give it a go you never know, you might enjoy it. :)


The frequent clack of wooden training sabers rang throughout the open training hall of the Jedi temple as the younglings practised duelling while the older Padawans supervised them in groups. Young Jenall Soara was one of them. One of the few survivors of the sacking of Coruscant and the destruction of the Jedi Temple she'd seen more death in a supposed time of peace than many knights would see in a life time of war and many a night she woke in a cold sweat, the faces of the Sith who'd attacked the temple haunting her sleep. Despite that she was still calm and, more importantly for today's task, patient.

Master D'oon had assigned his four Padawans to assist in the duelling halls as a lesson in patience, citing the Jedi code as he did. ' _There is no ignorance, there is knowledge',_ he'd said, _'pass on your knowledge of duelling to the younglings. There is no chaos, there is harmony. Keep the younglings in order. Keep yourselves in order too, your minds and your bodies.'_ For three hours Jenall had kept eight younglings from beating each other with sticks while demonstrating different duelling and sparring techniques with the other Padawans before pairing them up to practise. It had been trying and Jenall had watched as the Masters intervened when Padawan Ambase had lost control of two of the more unruly younglings. She had been able to do little more than watch as they had began to Force shove each other around the hall, their emotions getting the better of them. When the Masters had finally separated them they'd been taken to meditate on their actions while Padawan Ambase had been told to assist an elder Padawan, to seek guidance from him.

After another hour the younglings were instructed to head for midday meal while Master D'oon returned for his Padawans. The four young Jedi gathered together while their Master discussed their actions with the Battle-Masters. Padawan Ambase was clearly distressed with how the session had gone, his Force presence not serene as usual but radiating sadness and confusion. Vandar, the eldest in the group was stood with him talking quietly, trying to soothe his emotions.

"I don't understand Vandar. They were calm. I didn't sense any issues between them."

"Sometimes you don't," Vandar said, "sometimes these things just happen. Don't focus on the failure of two but the success of the other eight. They learnt something from you today."

"Vander's right," Jenall added, "it wasn't your fault. Rattataki have a quick temper."

"He's six years old and you couldn't stop him throwing another student across the hall," Zyl laughed, "It's pathetic Ambase. Even _she_ could control a group of children," she added looking over to Jenall before flicking her gaze back to Ambase "and she's three years younger. Maybe you could learn from the baby," her tone cruel and teasing.

"Enough Zyl," Master D'oon called from across the hall as he approached, "Quell your aggression. Your group of younglings did little better. According to the Battle-Masters they were simply fighting not sparring, while Ambase actually managed to teach eight younglings how to duel. You should learn from him, Zyl. Attacking without discipline will lead to defeat and even death, you did those younglings a disservice." After a quick glance at both Vandar and Jenall he went on, "Remember, no matter how well you do you can always do better. Go and eat, then find a quiet space away from the Temple to meditate on what you have learnt today. Be back by evening meal." The four Padawans followed their Master as they left the training hall and down to the dining hall where they ate quietly before separating. Vandar was the first to leave heading back to his quarters to retrieve his robe, followed by Zyl who left in search of an empty training hall to practise her saber skills against their Masters instructions. For a while it was just Jenall sat in silence pushing the food around her plate in the emptying dining hall while Ambase sat opposite watching her. When Ambase got up to leave Jenall looked up at him, "Don't let Zyl get at you. It wasn't your fault."

"I know, but she's just so angry and she's always taking it out on you or me. Master D'oon does nothing to stop her either other than sometimes shouting at her and that just fuels her anger. I just don't understand it," Ambase muttered in frustration as he sat back down swiping at his hair where it had fallen across his face. "The Master's always say your youngling clan and your Padawan group are like your family but Zyl just seems to resent us."

"She lost her family, watched as the Hutts killed them. She has a right to be angry. I don't think she resents us either." When Jenall looked back to him she saw his dark eyes locked on hers.

"I understand that she lost people, but you lost your family, watched them taken by slavers. You were in the Temple when it burned, when the Master's were cut down and your youngling clan killed. Yet your always calm," Ambase reasoned.

"I'm not always," Jenall whispered hanging her head as remembered emotions rushed through her. Pain. Grief. Loss. Fear. She felt Ambase tense slightly as her Force presence washed over him, the emotions too much for her to contain for a moment before she reined them back in. "I'm not always calm," she whispered again.

"I didn't know you felt like that," his voice just as quiet. "I didn't know you saw so much."

"I didn't, I just remember how I felt, but only in flashes and in nightmares," she whispered lowering her head. "I don't remember being rescued from the crash on the Mandalorian moon and I don't remember being pulled from the Temple on Coruscant. But I feel it. Every emotion, and sometimes I can't stop feeling it."

"You don't act on it though Jenall. That's what makes you different to Zyl." Reaching across the wooden table he took her hand, sending a wave of calmness over her before collecting her plate, putting them on the side and heading out of the hall. Jenall watched him go, dwelling on what he said for a few minutes before following his footsteps to leave the Temple, collecting a training saber along the way.

Jenall quickly left the sounds of construction behind her as she headed out into Tython's forests following the faint trails into the hills behind the Temple. The world drifted by in greens and browns and blues as she let the force guide her to where she would find the most peace for meditation. When the river came into view Jenall knew she was close, the boulders set in the rushing water before it dropped off into a waterfall were her destination. Carefully using the Force to propel her jump, Jenall flipped in the air before landing on a rough rock near the far bank. Looking downstream she jumped again reaching a smooth, flat stone at the edge of waterfall. Below her the water thundered over the edge, the spray casting glittering rainbows in the air. Settling down Jenall pulled the saber from behind her back and lay it in front of her before she crossed her legs under her, pressed her fingertips together lightly and closed her eyes slowly tuning out the rushing water around her.

It took time to centre herself, her talk with Ambase floating through her mind, his reaction when he sensed her emotions, how she'd shared that she had nightmares and Zyl, how much anger there was bubbling beneath the surface, how she took it out on those around her. Her own losses were there too. Her former Master, her youngling clan, her sister, her parents. So many lives that had passed into the Force, but still their losses hurt. Exhaling deeply, Jenall focused her mind on the younglings she tried to train earlier, on how she could improve and where she did well and what she did drastically wrong. Slowly she slipped into deep meditation, the emotions of the morning easing. Her senses becoming more attuned to the world around her, Jenall could sense the birds flitting through the trees, feel the Manka cubs playing at the bottom of the waterfall and below it all, the steady living essence of the trees and plants around her.

When a voice spoke out behind Jenall she was startled, having not sensed a new presence approaching. "Padawan, you are far from the temple." Spinning around on the rock, Jenall abruptly came out of her meditation to see Master Shan stood on one of the rocks behind her. Jumping to her feet she brushed the dust from the seat of her pants and knees and slid her saber back into place behind her shoulder.

"Master Shan," she said polity, pressing her hands together and bowing slightly at the same time before shuffling her feet nervously.

"Padawan relax. Your not in trouble. I'm just surprised to see you alone out here. Especially at this time of the day." With sudden worry Jenall glanced up, shocked to see it was early evening, the sun had sunk and dark clouds were sprinting across the sky. It was most certainly long passed evening meal. Hours had passed without her notice.

"I need to get back," she stuttered out already planning the jump needed to get back to the bank, "Master D'oon said to be back by now."

"Come, I'll walk you back. Tython's forests are not safe to wander at night, or alone for that matter. Let alone a young Padawan alone at dusk." Jenall watched as the elder Jedi gracefully jumped from the boulder she was on to the bank before following far more clumsily, slipping when she landed on the packed dry mud of the shore. About to stand, Jenall was surprised to see the smile on the Masters face and hand to help her up. Taking it Jenall stood, whispering a quiet thanks and a quick apology.

"Why apologise Padawan?"

"I fell Master. I shouldn't have. Master D'oon always says we can do better." Jenall caught the brief flash of confusion and shock on the elders face.

"How old are you Padawan?" she asked briskly.

"Twelve, Master Shan."

"And you're still a Padawan learner?"

"Yes Master," Jenall answered confused.

"Then you learn from your mistakes, and a simple slip is not a mistake. As the force teaches us, there is no ignorance, there is knowledge. From ignorance comes knowledge so from a mistake comes understanding. And since your still a Padawan, mistakes are expected and most certainly allowed."

Jenall nodded in understanding, "yes Master Shan."

"Padawan," she paused to make sure Jenall was listening, "no-one calls me Master Shan, that was my ancestor."

"Master Satele then," Jenall asked carefully, fearful of offending her. In return she received a wide smile.

"Come now Padawan," she said placing a hand on Jenall's shoulder guiding her forward and down the path. "What's your name, I never asked."

"Jenall Soara, Master."

"Tell me Jenall," Satele said as they walked, "how come you are so far from the Temple? How did you find this place?"

"There were paths Master, faint ones that I followed. I sensed that's how I'd find peace." When Master Satele didn't answer Jenall glanced over her shoulder to see the Jedi's face thoughtful, eyes focused on something distant. Looking away Jenall focused on where she was placing her feet surprised to see the ground smooth and unbroken, the light trails she'd followed earlier invisible. Stopping abruptly she looked around more carefully. The trees around her were familiar, the bushes that had scraped her calves still there, the thinner branches snapped but where the grass had thinned and the ground below had come clearer Jenall could not see. Looking back at the Master behind her Jenall could see Satele watching her. "Master, I don't understand," Jenall said, shaking her slightly.

"Nor do I young one. I walked the path the same as you, following the same hope of peace that brought you to the falls." Jenall watched as Satele bent down placing her hand on the ground as she did. "Extend your senses Padawan. Something has drawn us here." Closing her eyes, Jenall pushed through the calmness of the forest reaching out further. It was only then, when she couldn't sense the workers at the temple that she realised how far she'd strayed, into the more unexplored areas of Tython and the fear began to creep in. She'd never been so far from the Temple. Next to her she could sense Master Satele doing the same beside her, her senses much more attuned to the Force than her own could reach out further, pick up on things far fainter. As it was, they both sensed it at the same time. Pure fear radiating from North of where they were. Jenall felt it like a jolt from a vibroblade, the same fear she had felt as a child in the Temple on Coruscant and before that on a Mandalorian moon. Without a though she ran towards it, heedless of the danger it might put her in, focusing only on stopping the fear she felt on a daily basis from latching onto another soul.

When something gripped Jenall around her middle she was surprised and forced to stop. Looking back Master Satele was focusing on her, concentration written on features and one arm slightly extended, holding her still with the Force. "Padawan, slow down," she said gently as she approached. "You'll only hurt yourself if you run like that. A broken ankle will do us no good."

"Master," Jenall panted, "the only people on this planet are Jedi, and the only ones who would let their fear be projected like that are younglings. We have to help them," her own fear and desperation colouring her words.

"I agree with you, but running with aid of the Force will only lead you to disaster, as will acting on the fear you feel from the younglings and from your own heart." Jenall stopped struggling then, feeling the truth in the Masters words. When she had felt the fear from the younglings it had forced her own emotions to the surface and it had been those she'd been acting on. When hands rested on her shoulders Jenall looked up into Satele's light eyes, "do not feel bad. You were acting on a desire to help. To stop others from feeling fear. I doubt you would have allowed fear to cloud your judgement, but I sense now you will never let it cloud your judgement." Taking a deep breath Jenall nodded, concentrating for a moment on centring herself before looking back for instruction. When Satele set off in a fast jog Jenall followed, intent on helping.

Focusing on her breathing and where she was placing her feet Jenall managed to keep up with Master Satele, both of them following the sense of fear they had felt earlier. After half an hour of running on rough terrain Jenall was getting tired and was silently relived when the elder Jedi stopped at a ridge and crouched looking down into the valley below. Joining her Jenall took in the view. The falls she had sat at earlier followed back to where they were now, the river becoming so shallow and wide that you could see all the pebbles on the riverbed. On the shore was what disturbed her though. In a cage sat three small Initiates, no more than four standard years old and lying beside them their Master, clearly unconscious with blood staining his robes. What was worse were the pack of Flesh Raiders that surrounded the pen, growling and grunting at each other all armed with vibroblades, the light of the fire they'd lit flickering on their ridged skin, casting them in shadows of grey and burnt orange.

Crouched on the ridge Jenall and Satele were invisible, the glare from the fire and the setting sun hiding them. Now she was closer Jenall could sense the fear coming from the Initiates, their Force presences flooded with it. Beside her Satele was watching the Flesh Raiders closely, focusing in the group dynamics and how they moved, planning the attack. Reluctant to interrupt Jenall tried reaching out to the younglings, to make a connection with them and to calm them through the Force, unsure if she was strong enough to reach them from so far away. When their terror lessened Jenall smiled slightly, confident that they knew they weren't alone like she had been as a child.

"Well done Padawan," Satele murmured, genuinely pleased.

"They feel less afraid Master but they're still in danger."

"I know. Padawan if we are to help them I will need to distract those Flesh Raiders while you open the pen and rescue the Initiates. Can you climb down the ridge and still stay hidden?" Carefully crawling forward Jenall looked down the slope in front of her, dark blue eyes quickly scanning the bushes and where the shadows were deepest before creeping back.

"I think so Master."

"Good. Once you've done that stay put until you see me. I'm going to head along the ridge to get closer to them before I attack. Once they're distracted it will be up to you to open the pen and get the younglings. Head for the Temple Jenall, with luck someone will have realised you or these Initiates are missing."

Jenall nodded and was about to move when it occurred to her, "what about their Master?"

"He is for me to worry about, now go."

Creeping forward in a low crouch Jenall reached the edge of the ridge. Lowering her legs before her she slid down, keeping in the shadow of the trees and under the thick bushes as much as possible, desperately trying not to disturb the lose dirt. When she finally hit level ground again the bushes had thinned and shrunk, barely big enough to hide even her small frame. Shuffling forward on hands and knees Jenall got as close to the cage as she could. The thin shrubs had begun to grow in the shallow river and she could feel the water seeping into her boots and pants where she knelt hardly hidden. From there the Initiates were easier to see. Two boys, a girl and their Master, a Miraluka whose headband had been torn away revealing smooth skin where his eyes would be if he were human. What worried her was the blood that covered that smooth skin, running in rivulets from his hair line. Closing her eyes again, Jenall reached out to try and locate Master Satele hoping to have a little forewarning of when she would attack but couldn't sense her, only the Flesh Raiders and fear from the Initiates. All she could do was wait.

When twin beams of blue ignited behind the pack of Flesh Raiders Jenall watched for a moment, waiting for the best moment to dash for the cage. Master Satele had crept up behind them so close she was almost stood in the fire. The startled Flesh Raiders immediately backed into the river grasping for the blades on their shoulders. Satele stood very still, the blue of her dualsaber casting a pale glow on her features turning her dark hair almost silver. When the first Flesh Raider moved to attack she spun the saber in her hand before engaging. Jenall took that as the best chance she'd get. Bolting up from her hiding place, she splashed forward toward the far shore, soaking her pants and tunic as her feet broke the surface before wading on to the rocks in front of the pen. When the Initiates saw her they yelled out, thrilled to see someone who was there to help them not harm them.

"Shush," Jenall whispered urgently, glancing over her shoulder to where Master Satele was battling at least six Flesh Raiders. Confident none of them had noticed her she reached up and tried to open the gate struggling with the tight fastenings near the top of the cage, almost above her reach. When the cords finally gave way her fingers were bloody, the thorns on the thick dried vines meant for tougher skin than her own. Tugging the hatch open she slid inside and crouched by the unconscious Master, relieved to sense life from him no matter how weak before focusing on the Initiates.

"What are your names younglings?" Jenall asked.

"I'm Keta," the little girl whispered before pointing to the boy next to her, "and he's Cruson and that's Loli," she finished nodding over to the Twi'lek boy.

"Okay. Come now, we need to get you away from here." Pushing the gate as wide as it would go Jenall ushered the first two Initiates out before turning to the third. The young Twi'lek hadn't even stood, his face streaked with tears. Stretching out a hand Jenall encouraged him to take it in a whispered voice, "We have to go young one." When his tears began to fall again Jenall checked over to where the Flesh Raiders were, seeing only four left standing one body lying in the river, Master Satele's blue saber flashing as they connected with the pale yellow of old vibroblades.

"He can't walk Padawan," piped a voice from behind her. Turning to look at the girl she pointed to his leg. "Loli fell." Nodding her thanks Jenall turned back to the Twi'lek boy and examined his leg. His pants leg was torn and the light blue skin beneath it bruised black and swollen. Carefully scooping him up and resting him on her left hip she guided the other two younglings towards the river.

"Wait, Master Trebor. We can't leave him," the little boy cried, side stepping round Jenall and back into the cage. Conscious of how exposed they were and with a fight going on only meters away Jenall quickly set Loli back down, his back against the woven frame of the pen and guided Keta to sit with him. Turning to the human boy Jenall saw him crouched over his Master pulling on his hand as if to drag him.

"Youngling, we have to go," she said gently.

"We can't leave him," he replied stubbornly.

Drawing on the Force for calmness Jenall gently pulled him towards her making eye contact with him. "Youngling, neither of us are strong enough to move him, not even together," she cut him off, seeing the argument bubbling on his lips. Pointing over to the fight she carried on, "Master Satele will be the one to help your Master. Now we have to go," she carried on, her voice more stern. Taking his hand when he nodded Jenall left the pen, ready to pick Loli up and then help them across the river. A shrill scream cut off her plans.

When she turned Loli and Keta were pressed together looking up as a Flesh Raider approached, the yellow glow of his vibroblade casting a sickly pallor over the children. Fear flooded through her. Master Satele was still battling four Flesh Raiders, parrying and attacking blow for blow, unaware of what was happening. Pushing Cruson behind her Jenall stepped in front of the three younglings, drawing her practice saber. The Flesh Raider was twice as tall as her and far stronger, it's muscular body covered in old scars and wounds, its snarling mouth open to reveal the sharp mismatched teeth. When she ignited the saber the glow it emitted was only half that of the Flesh Raider's before her. The weapon did nothing to stop it approaching. Jenall held it in front of her, pointed slightly towards the enemy, just as she had shown the younglings earlier, only then her arms hadn't been trembling and the blade in them shaking like it had been caught a strong wind.

"Stay back," Jenall shouted but with every step the Flesh Raider took towards her she took a step back until the back of her boots were almost touching the Initiates knees. She could tell the Flesh Raider could sense her fear with every step backwards it had grown in courage, the grumbling in its throat building until it was snarling with excitement. Taking a deep breath Jenall tried to centre herself, pulling hard on the Force, drawing from the peace of the forest around her. "Stay back," Jenall repeated, her voice stronger than before.

When the Flesh Raider attacked Jenall saw the the blow coming and quickly positioned her saber to block it. The strike was harder than she'd expected and her arms felt numb when she moved to block the next blow and the next and the next. Slowly he was pushing her back, forcing her to loose the little distance between her and the younglings she was protecting. Knowing if the battle kept on like this she would probably die, Jenall did the one thing she could think of and jumped, just as she had earlier, flipping and turning smoothly in the air and landing behind the Flesh Raider, her boots splashing into the river. When the Flesh Raider spun Jenall wasn't quick enough to dodge and the power of its blow to her right side sent her sprawling in the water. When she didn't stand immediately the Flesh Raider turned its back on her and advanced towards the Initiates and from where she lay in the river she could hear Keta begin to cry, her Force presence flooded with fear. In a flash Jenall was three years old again and hiding in a cracked and shattered conduit as slavers came to take whoever was left alive. Pushing down on the fear that was building inside her, Jenall focused on the hope of protecting the Initiates, on sparing them from the fear she felt daily. Forcing herself to her feet she turned to face the Flesh Raider, it's back to her slowly approaching the three frightened children. Looking round she spotted her saber a few feet from where she fell. With sudden clarity Jenall knew what she had to do. Running towards the Flesh Raider Jenall jumped, reaching out with the Force and pulling her saber towards her all at once. The instant the hilt touched her palm it ignited, glowing pale yellow on the ridged back of the Flesh Raider before her. Slashing downwards, Jenall felt the saber cut deep through the thick hide of its shoulder before coming out again near its left hip. When the Flesh Raider fell to the ground so did Jenall, the power of her jump gone, her boots slapping onto the pebbled ground before her legs went out from under her. The Flesh Raider thudded to the ground beside her, blood pumping from the wound on its back, it's spinal cord severed.

For a minute Jenall watched the sky above, studying the stars that peppered the darkness before a small face blotted them out.

"Padawan," Keta said, gently nudging her shoulder, "Are you still going to rescue us?" Her voice was quiet and timid, almost as if she expected to be abandoned. Her face lit up when Jenall sat up and looked around. Next to her the Flesh Raider she'd battle was dead, blood no longer running down its flanks and further down the bank Master Satele was down to just one Flesh Raider. Even as she watched the the Flesh Raider fell and didn't get back up.

"Yes Keta, it's time we got back to the Temple. Are you alright?"

"Yes Padawan, and so's Cruson. It's just Loli that's hurt."

"Okay." As Jenall tried to get up her legs gave out again and through the Force she felt the death around her. The lives Master Satele had taken and the life she had taken. Death Jenall had witnessed before, never had she taken a life. Guilt flooded through her. Keta sensed the change in her, felt the sadness coursing through her and tried to comfort her. Carefully she rested her head against Jenall's shoulder and wrapped her skinny arms around her waist recoiling suddenly when her arm came away wet. "Padawan, your hurt," she cried looking down at the sleeve of her tunic where it was stained red. Pulling her own tunic up Jenall looked at her side and the blood dribbling out of the slice where the vibroblade had sunk into her skin before pressing her hand against the wound to slow the bleeding. There'd been no pain before but now it was as though someone had poured fire on her side. Looking up Jenall saw the worry in Keta's brown eyes before she ran off behind her coming back a few moments later with Master Satele in tow. Gently the Master pulled Jenall's hand away and examined the wound before tearing a strip from her own robes and tying it around her torso, pressing her hand to Jenall's side as she did. With in a few moments the pain had eased and Jenall's breath came easier.

"Padawan, look at me." When Jenall looked up, blue eyes were locked on her face, carefully examining her before Satele looked down at her own hands. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Master?" Jenall questioned.

"I should have protected you better. You should never have had to take a life. Not at your age. Not ever if it can be helped, but never at your age." Jenall just bowed her head and let the tears fall.

"I can feel it Master. I can feel its death all around me. It frightens me that I could do that," she wept. Gentle arms wrapped around her as Satele hugged her while she cried. Her Force presence much the same as her own. Guilt. Sadness. Loss. When her tears had stopped Satele released her and pressed her hands to Jenall's side again, easing the pain further and surrounding her with peace. "Today will make you a stronger Jedi. It may not feel that way now, but in the future you will understand." Looking into Jenall's face Satele could still see the sadness and pain reflected in her blue eyes but also a glimmer of understanding. "Now Padawan, are you hurt anywhere else?" Jenall held her hands out to the Master, palms up showing the deep cuts running across her fingers. Dampening another strip of cloth in the river Satele wiped the dried blood away before tying it around the Padawans hands. After Jenall had assured her that she wasn't hurt anywhere else Satele went into the pen and began examining Master Trebor and then Loli. Turning back to the young Jedi she asked, "will you still be able to carry Loli and guide the other Initiates?"

"Yes Master." Satele looked doubtful, watching Jenall closely as she stood locking her saber back into position behind her shoulder before picking up Loli, putting most of his weight on her left arm and hip. Jenall reached her hand out to Keta who quickly wrapped her little fingers around her palm, squeezing tight. Cruson came up behind her and gripped onto Jenall's tunic, his small hand clutching the fabric so tightly his knuckles turned white. When she looked back to Satele she had Master Trebor on his feet, his arm draped across her shoulders, her hand clutching his robes.

It was dark when they set off again. Satele took the lead, guiding them back up the ridge where they'd hidden before and then along the track they'd cut in their trip. It was slow going, Master Trebor being half dragged half carried by Master Satele, the two Initiates hanging on to Jenall struggling with the uneven ground in the dark and Loli crying out in pain with every jostle that jarred his leg. Jenall could do little to calm him, his tears already soaking through her tunic. Words of comfort did nothing to ease his pain. When Cruson fell again Satele turned and looked back, her face pulled with exhaustion.

"We need to stop for moment Padawan." Gratefully Jenall sat Loli down and released Keta's hand before sitting down herself.

"Master," Jenall started hesitantly. When Satele looked at her Jenall shook her head afraid the Master would be angry if she questioned her judgement, "never mind Master."

"No Padawan go on."

"We can't keep walking in the dark like this. Cruson and Keta keep falling and I'm afraid I will and hurt Loli even more. Besides," she added, "they're exhausted" Jenall looked over to Keta, her body slumped against a tree, eyes closed and Cruson who was half asleep already his head planted firmly on Jenall's leg. Even Loli, despite the pain he was in was nodding where he was lying on the ground. Satele looked from the three younglings to Jenall and then to the Master she was carrying.

"You may be right Padawan, but setting up camp here is not a good option," she said looking to the sky. The dark clouds that had been rushing across the horizon earlier in the evening now blanketed the sky, blotting out the moon and stars and even as they looked the first drops began to fall. "Stay here. I won't be long." Jenall sat there for what felt like a long time listening to the sounds of the rain bouncing off the leaves above her while gently running her hand through Crusons' short blond hair. By the time Satele returned the rain had soaked Jenall through. "There's a cave about ten minutes walk from here. It should be safe enough for tonight at least." Nodding Jenall gently woke the three Initiates and began following Satele through the woods sensing more than seeing as the ground went from grass to stone and ridges of rock rose around them.

Even Jenall was stumbling by the time Satele guided them into the cave. Almost immediately Cruson and Keta let go of her and curled up next to each other on the floor and Jenall settled Loli down with them, his broken leg extended and tightly wrapped in part of Master Satele's robe. Satele did the same with Master Trebor resting his head on part of a rotten log. Blood had seeped through the bandage she had placed there staining it rust red. Jenall could feel her own eyes growing heavy, the steady thrum of the rain outside lulling her to sleep. The sand floor of the cave was soft against her cheek and caught lightly on her eyelashes as she fought to keep her eyes open and out of the corner of her eye Jenall could see Satele moving around quietly, stopping when she sensed her watching.

"Sleep Padawan. You need rest." Part of her wanted to argue, to help the Master keep watch and care for the younglings but exhaustion was washing over her in waves and before she could open her mouth sleep claimed her.

" _Come younglings," Master Bala called to the group of children trailing after her, "play is over, we must begin our lessons." Ten year old Jenall was laughing as she was chased by another of the children in her group as they ran towards the Master and she could see the smile on Bala's face as she watched them. Opening her arms to them the Master gathered the group around her, quickly counting to make sure all of them were there before guiding them up the curving stone stairs to one of the upper levels of the Temple. When the crash came Jenall screamed in fear and the others did the same ducking down behind the low walls of the raised walkways, trying to hide from something they couldn't see. Bala's arms went round them again, pulling them all close as one of the support pillars came crashing down followed by another and another and the top wing of a shuttle rushed past. For a long moment there was silence followed suddenly by the ignition of light sabers. Bala held the younglings close before beginning to usher them forward towards the back of the Temple. Heavy feet were pounding up the stairs urging them into a run and Jenall felt the fear rising in her, enhanced by that of the younglings around her. Quickly glancing behind Jenall saw the soldiers dressed in black duraplast armour, the red insignia bright on the chest plates. "Keep running," Bala called as she turned to face the soldiers when many of the younglings stopped. Jenall glanced back again and Bala's skin was lit in green as she deflected blaster shots back at the soldiers; still Jenall ran. Suddenly the was a hole in Jenall's mind where before there had been a presence and red blaster bolts began streaking past her face, hitting the walls ahead of her. Another glance behind her and she saw Bala on the floor, her saber rolling away from her hand. In front of her a Togruta boy was shot down, his body crumpling to the floor, blood pooling under him. "Padawan, wake up." Jenall couldn't place the voice. It wasn't Bala's but she knew it was familiar. "Jenall," the voice said again more urgently, "wake up."_

There was sand in her mouth when Jenall jolted awake, the last tendrils of the nightmare clinging to her mind. Her tunic top was stuck to her skin, breath coming in short, sharp gasps, hands clutching at the fine sand, nails digging into already bleeding palms. "Calm down Padawan." Jenall knew the voice now. Remembered where she was. There where hands on her shoulders helping her into a sitting position. Satele's eyes were bright with worry when Jenall looked up. "Take a deep breath, try and slow your breathing Jenall. It was only a nightmare. It can't hurt you." For a long few moments Jenall focused on the elder Jedi's eyes, concentrating on trying to calm herself. Slowly the cave came back into focus. Loli, Cruson and Keta were all still asleep huddled together, Master Trebor lying close by them. In the mouth of the cave a fire crackled casting dancing shadows along the walls, but beyond that the rain still fell.

Embarrassment and shame flooded through her. Master D'oon always said that nightmares were a weakness and when he'd first learned of the nightmares Jenall had he'd scolded her, telling her a weakness like that makes a Jedi look weak and weakness leads to death. He'd said he wouldn't tolerate weakness in his Padawans. Even since then Jenall had never spoken about the terrors that haunted her sleep. Not even to her fellow Padawans. It was her secret that she guarded well, her secret that was now there for a member of the Jedi council to see. Tears began to run down her face. Swiping them away with her fist Jenall tried to avoid Satele's gaze choosing instead to watch the flickering flames of the fire and was relieved when the Master backed off to the other side of the cave.

"Would you like to talk about it Padawan?" Her voice was gentle with no trace of the anger Jenall was expecting but still she shook her head. "Why not? I've always found talking about my nightmares helps to ease them." Jenall's head shot up sharply, her eyes connecting with the Master's when she said that.

"You have nightmares, Master?" Her voice was quiet and cracked with tears, the sand gritty against the roof her mouth.

"Everyone gets nightmares Padawan."

"Master D'oon says nightmares are a weakness."

"Master D'oon is wrong," she said bluntly, "Nightmares are part of us. They're our mind trying to tell us that there's something wrong, something that needs to be worked out, something that you fear. It's not a weakness, it's just part of who you are. Would you like to talk about it now?" The Master's words had comforted Jenall, given her the confidence she needed. By the time she had finished telling the story of her nightmare she felt a weight lift of her shoulders and Satele had her wrapped in her arms. There were waves of emotions coming from the elder Jedi. Sadness at the story she'd just heard. Heartbreak for the fear the young Jedi felt. Frustration at Master D'oon. Guilt that she hadn't been there in the Temple that day. Hope for the Padawan in her arms who was trying to overcome such terrible events. Eventually Jenall drifted back to sleep on Satele's shoulder and when she woke next the sky was beginning to lighten and the fire had burnt down to embers. Still the rain was coming down in sheets.

Keta and Loli were awake playing a clapping game together and Loli was wrapped in Master Trebor's cloak, his blue skin flushed with fever. Standing slowly Satele came over from where she'd been re-wrapping Trebor's head when she saw Jenall was awake.

"We should be able to make it back to the Temple in under an hour from here now that it's light. I hadn't realised how close we were. But first I want to check your side." Nodding Jenall tugged the stained top up over the rough bandage that was tied there and with gentle hands Satele undid the knots pulling the fabric away carefully. In daylight the wound was deep and straight cutting the flesh just below her ribs. Dried blood covered the skin around it and the cut itself was hot and red and when Satele examined it Jenall hissed in pain. Nothing was said as Satele wrapped it again with fresh cloth from her now none existent robe but Jenall knew the cut was infected just like Loli's leg and when she stood to wake Cruson the cave walls began to spin around her for a moment. Satele caught hold of her before she could fall, "take a moment Padawan. Get your balance." Drawing hard on the Force for strength Jenall held her breath for a moment before bending to shake Cruson's shoulder and bent down to scoop Loli up.

They were back out in the rain within minutes, slowly but steadily trudging their way away from the cave and in the direction of the Temple. With every step Jenall's legs seemed to grow heavier, her feet just a little more unsteady, her head just a little fuzzier. Loli was heavier aswell. The strength that he'd had yesterday to hold himself on her shoulder was gone and he was like dead weight in her arms, his lekku bumping against her chest with every step. Cruson and Keta seemed more sure of themselves though. In daylight they could see where they were placing their feet and the ground here was more even. Their fear had lessened too. The rain that was the worst however. It was unrelenting and the three Initiates where shivering as they walked. As the stones beneath their feet gave way to grass and the stone cliffs gave way to towering trees Keta began to get more animated despite the cold and wet sensing they were close to the Temple and cheerfully saying she couldn't wait to have breakfast but the thought of food turned Jenall's stomach and made her head spin all at once. Part of her was relieved when Cruson and Keta let go of her. Her steps had started to slow and it felt like they had been pulling her along.

When Keta came rushing back saying she'd heard footsteps ahead of them Jenall reached for her practice saber, nervous of more Flesh Raiders attacking only to see a group of young knights emerge through the trees, their dark brown robes heavy with rain.

"Master," one of them stepped forward, "we've been looking for you."

"For me specifically Sonam?"

"Yes and for Master Trebor and his youngling group. It seems we've found you all at once. Groups have been out looking for you since first light."

"Jenall," a voice called suddenly from the back of the group and when she looked up she was surprised to see Vandar rushing towards her. Having been at the back of the group and last through the branches she hadn't seen him. He looked like a knight she realised, he was as tall as them and his strength in the Force was clear to see. At seventeen he was already thinking about the trials. In front of her two knights eased Master Trebor onto their shoulders, lifting his weight from Satele and without her realising a young knight with cybernetic implants was lifting Loli from her own hip. Jenall was grateful. His weight was quickly replaced with Vandar's hands as he turned her to face him. "Are you okay?" he asked concerned at how pale she was, "and don't say you're alright."

"She's not," Satele called, nodding to the blood stain on the tunic when Vandar looked to her.

"I'm more worried about what Master D'oon will say when I get back to the Temple. I don't imagine he's happy," Jenall mumbled. The world had suddenly gone blurry and her legs felt numb.

"I don't think he's noticed," Jenall heard him say through the rushing sound in her ears. "But I don't think you need to know about it right now," his voice trailed off and through lidded eyes she could see him looking at her closely. It felt like she was shrinking and Vandar was growing, his grip on her shoulders tightened. "Zez-Kai, help me," He shouted. Another set of hands gripped her shoulders and Vandar was shrinking back to normal height again. Something warm was running down her side but Jenall couldn't muster the energy to care. Leaning her head on Vandar's shoulder she shut her eyes and drifted into unconsciousness.

There wasn't any sand in her mouth when she opened her eyes this time and the surface beneath her was soft, not hard as the cave floor had been. The recovery rooms in the Temple were warm and quiet, the Healers talking in hushed whispers so as not to disturb the patients. Ambase was sat next to her bed, his eyes black and face bruised. When he saw she was awake he jumped to his feet and rushed to get a Healer. A moment later he came back with a Master in tow and stood at the foot of her bed while the Heaker examined the wound carefully. A thick red line stood out on her pale skin where before there had been a gash cut deep into her flesh and her side ached in a way that sent pain right through her stomach. Jenall wanted to sit up but couldn't find the strength. It was then that she realised her hair was wet and there was a tang of medicine at the back of her throat. Kolto.

"How long was I out for," Jenall tried, her voice dry and thick from lack of use the words came out croaky. Ambase just looked at her, his brown eyes wide in his bruised face. "Ambase. Talk to me." Only silence answered. There was a pressure on her arm and when Jenall looked the Master had injection pressed to her skin a soft smile on his face. The pain eased quickly and her vision grew dark around the edges until all she could see were Ambase's eyes looking back at her full of emotion.

It was Keta who woke her next, her little hand poking at Jenall's nose. "Stop that," someone said in a hushed voice but still Keta kept on poking until Jenall caught her skinny wrist in her own hand. This time Jenall pulled herself up propping her back against the bed frame and laughing when Keta climbed up and grinned at her. To her left Cruson was sat on another chair at another bed where Master Trebor was sat, his face turned towards them while Loli slept in the bed opposite. Keta burst into stories of what had happened since they got back to the Temple rushing to explain everything and jumbling the story up. All Jenall managed to understand was that the Council had been in meetings frequently and that one of her Padawan group had been with her almost all the time but that she didn't know his name. She got so loud and animated after a while that the Healers came over and quietly asked Master Trebor to send her on her way. Her and Cruson left unhappily.

The doors were just drifting closed when Vandar slipped in and came over to her. His face was tense and his Force presence troubled but when he saw she was awake he managed a smile. Pulling the seat Keta had abandoned closer he looked her over.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Fine." Jenall laughed at his sceptical look. "Really I am."

"Okay," he answered a smile on his face. For a while they sat in silence and beside them Master Trebor's breathing evened out.

"Vandar," Jenall asked, "what happened to Ambase. His face was a mess when I saw him but he wouldn't even speak to me."

"Master D'oon's instructions. Ambase isn't allowed to speak to anyone until he says so. You remember Master D'oon instructing us to go and meditate after teaching the younglings," when Jenall nodded he went on, "Zyl didn't and neither did Ambase. He was still upset I think from her teasing him and he went to talk to her. She was outside on one of the practice arenas and she didn't take to kindly to Ambase interrupting her. She was even angrier when he confronted her about her aggressiveness. I wasn't there when it happened but what I've been told is that what started as an argument turned into a duel. Apparently Zyl threw Ambase halfway across the courtyard after he tried to grab her shoulders to calm her down. By the time the Masters intervened Ambase was almost unconscious and Zyl was ready to kill him. She's in isolation now and I don't think she'll be continuing training. By the time I got back to the Temple it was late, Master D'oon ordered me to my quarters so I guessed you'd just gone to sleep and that's why I didn't realise you hadn't come back. It was only the next day when Master D'oon came to talk to me that he told me what had happened and asked if I'd seen you that anyone realised you'd gone missing and by then there were groups of knights getting ready to go and find a group Initiates that hadn't come back either and there were rumours that Master Shan hadn't returned either. I tagged myself to a group and came out looking for you. When you collapsed you had us worried. That cut on your side was bleeding quite a lot by the time we got you back to the Temple. The Healers had you in a Kolto tank within minutes of us getting here and kept you in there for a day. You've been awake on and off since then but this is the first time you've been so aware. Master D'oon had one of us stay with you. The Healers said you'd probably wake up today and so you did," he finished with a smile.

"Ambase said he didn't understand why she was so angry. He was frustrated and Zyl was angry but I never expected that to happen. Will Ambase be alright. His face was almost black when I saw him."

"He'll be fine. Don't worry. You always worry about us don't you." Vandar's words and smiles eased her worries and she settled back against the pillows. "The only thing I haven't been able to find out is what happened to you. The little Initiate Keta told me some but it was all jumbled up." Jenall had to laugh at that. In the forest Keta had been afraid but her real personality was bright and cheerful. Slowly Jenall retold the story of the woods as best she could even as she was drifting of to sleep. Vandar listened to it all and from the bed next to her so did Master Trebor who had woken again. When she'd finished she saw Vandar sit back in his chair.

"And I thought I'd won on the most interesting story of the day. Now I understand why Master Shan has been coming in and checking on you."

Jenall couldn't help herself, "she prefers Master Satele." Vandar's laugh had the Healers looking at him with irritation in their eyes for disturbing the peace of the room but even Master Trebor was chuckling.

"Sleep now Jenall. Your exhausted and I have to let Master D'oon know your awake."

The next day the Healers said she could leave the Recovery rooms on the condition that she did nothing strenuous and warned her that her side would still hurt from time to time, more if she stretched the muscles there. It was still early morning by the time Jenall had left and the Temple was only just beginning to wake up. Groups of Padawans and younglings were heading towards the dinning halls, some with their Masters, some chatting loudly, others quiet and contemplative. Jenall fell in with them picking up a couple of sweet flatbreads before taking a table in the corner. Word had clearly spread that something of interest had happened in the woods and whispers where flying and each time she looked up Jenall saw a different group looking at her curiously. Vandar sat down beside her his plate filled with sourfry, Master D'oon was just behind him and stood opposite facing his two Padawans.

"The Council wishes to speak with you both in an hour. To discuss what has happened these past few days. Be honest and be truthful." When they both had acknowledged him he left, the pale brown robe swirling behind him as he went. Vandar was quiet beside her, the food on his plate untouched and going cold. Her own breakfast wasn't fairing much better the bread turning to glue in her mouth and hard to swallow. Going before the council made her nervous and she could sense the same prickling tension in Vandar's Force presence.

"It'll be fine," she said, more to comfort herself than him but still he thanked her gently putting his hand on her shoulder before going back to chasing the sourfry around his plate.

The hall was empty when they left and headed up the curved stairs towards the tall doors that went to the council chambers. One was propped open and Master Fane stood waiting for them even though they were early. Pressing her fingers together and bowing her head in greeting she followed him into the chamber, Vandar on her heels. Both Padawans paused when she saw the grandeur of the room. The centre table was huge with ten tall backed seats around it, bright rays of Tythonian sunlight glimmered down from the skylight in the domed roof casting light shadows behind the tall statues stood as sentinels around the edge. Next to her Vandar gasped when he saw it and from the table ahead of them she heard a chuckle. Four of the ten seats were occupied, Master Satele was on the left, Masters Giffis Fane and Wens Aleusis in the middle and finally Master Oric Traless on the right his blue head-tresses trailing over his shoulders, the bands in them shining silver in the light. Zyl and Ambase were already there stood apart from each other. Ambase's face had healed some since Jenall had last seen him but still there were yellowing splotches around his eyes and across his cheeks. Zyl's fists were a mess too, her knuckles bruised and bloody the skin between the bones split open. It worried her, how badly hurt her friends were. When she had still been a youngling all her clan had been friends and even though Zyl seemed to hate her she still cared. Vandar tugged her forwards by her sleeve suddenly and Jenall realised that the Council was watching her closely, Master Fane most of all, his eyes holding a subtle smile that reassured her. Stumbling forward Jenall took her place between Vandar and Zyl with Ambase on Vandar's other side. Looking up at them she felt small. Ambase and Vandar made her forget sometimes that she was only twelve while they were older and far, far taller.

"Padawans," Master Traless began, "a lot has happened to your group this last week and we believe that things within your group must change."

"But first perhaps we should discuss what has happened. Don't you agree Oric? Wouldn't it help ease the tensions in this clan." Master Wens Aleusis was a Zabrak, the horns around the crown of his head had tight rings of gold on them and the tattoos on his face curved and bent across his eyes and lips. His voice was deep and contemplative though and when he spoke everyone listened to him. Turning away from his fellow Master he looked at each of the Padawans in turn. "Ambase, would you care to talk us through from when you finished training the younglings." Ambase scuffed his boot against the floor for a moment gathering his thoughts.

"It didn't go well. Two of the younglings began fighting and I couldn't stop them so my group merged with Vandar's and we finished the session working together. When we finished Zyl was making fun of me. Calling me pathetic and useless and then calling Jenall a baby. She frustrated me. I spoke to Jenall about it at midday meal. Didn't I." Ambase turned to face Jenall with a hint of desperation in his voice and she felt the focus of the room shift to her.

"Yes, but I don't remember much of the conversation."

"Think Jenall," Satele encouraged.

"Ambase was frustrated that Master D'oon never did anything to stop Zyl's aggression and he felt that she resented us. I said that she had a reason to be angry. A lot has happened to her." Turning towards Zyl Jenall went on, "and I don't think you resent us. At least I hope you don't. After that I went out to meditate and erm."

"It's okay. Thank you Jenall. Ambase what happened after that?"

"I went to find Zyl and she was outside practising her saber skills instead of following our instructions and meditating," he said accusingly. "If you'd been meditating you might have been calmer and not thrown me when I tried to talk to you."

"You know I don't like to be touched. It was a reaction," Zyl yelled back, "and you were shouting at me about how I was cruel and would fall to the dark side if I carried on. You grabbed my shoulders and tried to pull the practice saber from me. You know I don't like to be touched."

No I don't. None of us do. You never talk about yourself. Just shun us," Ambase shouted stomping towards where Zyl was facing him.

"Enough!" Master Fane was on his feet ready to pull them apart. Vandar had stepped forward and had a hold on Ambase's shoulder and at the same time he had pushed Jenall back a few steps. Anger was pumping though Zyl's Force aura and Ambase's was much the same. "Calm yourselves both of you. This is not acceptable." Zyl stepped back and Vandar forced Ambase to do the same. In a lighter voice Master Fane continued. "You are in the same Padawan group. You are supposed to help and guide and protect each other. My Padawan group were like my brothers and sisters and we-"

"I don't need any more family," Zyl said harshly cutting the Master off.

"Why is that?" Satele asked.

"Master D'oon says that forming friends leads to weakness and weakness can lead to death."

"Why else?" Satele asked, pushing Zyl for a more honest answer.

"I had a family once. They died. My parents, my brothers, my sisters. All of them." Zyl's voice began to rise as her emotions swelled and tears began to build in her eyes, "I loved them and now their gone and it hurts everyday but I can't talk about that either because Master D'oon won't hear it. It makes me angry. I can't stop thinking about them and I can't even talk about them. They're always there. When I'm awake, when I sleep, when I meditate. The only time I don't think about them is when I'm sparring." Tears were streaming down Zyl's face by the time she finished, her breath coming in short sharp gasps. Jenall did the only thing she could think of and put her arms around Zyl's shoulders. Instantly the older girl pulled away shoving Jenall back a few steps. "Don't."

Jenall was more confused than hurt by her actions, "sorry." Zyl's eyes where the colour of copper and were watching Jenall closely, so many emotions dancing in them unguarded.

"Don't be sorry, just don't do it again," she said testily.

Vandar put a hand on Jenall's shoulder easing her confusion with the help of the Force, calming her before he spoke to Zyl. "Why don't you like being touched?"

"I just don't like it." Everyone in the room could sense she was lying and she knew that they knew. "They held me still. When they killed my family they had hold of me so tight that there bruises and then left me alive as a warning. That's why," she shouted before spinning on Jenall, "and she looks just like my baby sister did and every night when she has a nightmare I wake up from my own and think it's my sister crying out for me but it's not and then it hits me that she's dead and I can't even talk about it because Master D'oon will say it is a weakness and that weakness could lead to death or us being kicked out of the Order and if that happens where would I go," she shouted breathlessly.

Master Aleusis shot to his feet at the mention of being expelled from the Order. "By the Force that would never happen. Having nightmares is not a weakness and nor is having friends and family. Talking about your feeling makes you a better Jedi and better person." Satele came forward and placed a hand on his shoulder nodding at him before facing the four now very confused Padawans.

"I think that is enough. I believe we have found the root of the issue with your group. Lack of discussion. Originally we had planned to split you group up however now that seems unnecessary. I believe a new Master may be in order for this group and maybe some sessions of conversation between you."

"Indeed," Master Fane added, "and some private counselling for young Zyl here and maybe for Jenall too. I sense you both have some issues that plague you. Vandar, you however will be heading off world with me. I'm taking you as my own Padawan now. It is time for you to begin your training for the trials you will take in a few years." Vandar's face lit up when he said that.

"Yes Master."

"Jenall, you will also be taking some extra duelling and saber practice lessons. You are already very gifted for your age and I believe you will be come a great protector and warrior of the Order. Now, I believe after the trials you all have faced perhaps you should take the day from studying while the Council decides on a new Master for the three of you. Spend some time together, share your feelings. Do not be afraid of being weak or of being asked to leave the Order." The four young Jedi trailed out of the Council chambers accompanied by Master Satele. Master D'oon was waiting outside the doors to talk to them but was cut off by Satele.

"Perhaps you should come inside," she said to him directing him back down the short corridor they had just walked. "Good bye Padawans," Satele called after them as they turned down the stairs in the direction of the courtyard. The four of them sat by the river for a long time that day discussing their lives before they had come to the Temple and by evening meal a Master Unduli had come to them explaining that she was to be their new teacher. For the first time in a long while Jenall slept without nightmares.

 **I hope you enjoyed this. It kind of took on a life of its own... it was never supposed to be this long. Jenall is my character but everyone else except Satele and the rest of the council (SWTOR wiki really is an awesome place!) are from my own mind. I wanted to focus more on my character but I got a little attached to Zyl and built on her aswell which was entirely unplanned! And yes I know it is a completely random story but I always figured some Jedi Masters would teach their Padawans things that aren't quite right and that's why some of them head down the path to the dark side. Please read and review I really need the feedback. I know Jenall has more to her history but I don't know if I'll be writing it and there is some for Jenall's sister. Let me know if you want to hear it and I'll give it a try.**


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